There's no one formula in life path but somehow entering the workforce is a stage that we can't avoid after graduating, especially in sg.

Since last semester, my vision for this final year was: do my best in acad/dance and keep fit. job hunt? later lahhh. simply = just enjoy final year. However, reality hit my face with career office sending emails on recruitment talks, interview workshop etc etc...and so no matter how reluctant or ignorant i can get, i need to face it.

Visiting career fairs this week got me exposed to opportunities that i never thought of. The word "Opportunities" is used because there'r really jobs catered to all disciplines and i have gotten a few copies of brochures on various management trainee programmes. The word is chosen because i see them as paths for me to gain wisdom, resilience and personal growth in the next few years, at least. This also means that i am only aiming at such program and not really wanting to enter education nor journalism sector that are stereotypically seen as the prospects of a Chinese major.

Understanding what companies are looking for help to narrow down the target positions but in general, i feel scared & a sudden feel of identity crisis. There're two layers to this feeling:
1) Do i have what it takes to get a position in the places i wanna go?
2) Are the positions that i am looking at suitable for me?

It makes me reflect on the things that i have been doing and the belief behind the objectives in doing planning/organizing/executing events or activities. Whenever my parents nag about me spending time on cca, though upset but i always encourage myself that whatever i do is gonna prepare me for future challenges and every process is a learning journey to toughen me.Although having adequate experiences in leadership and organization skills (in union camp/salsa club), i just thought that there'r plenty out there who had done similar or even better events/internship than me. Sucha pressure might be a self-induced thing but it's really about where you stand and if you're outstanding among the fresh graduates who are also aiming at management trainee positions.

And i reckon all these as normal feelings as a grad-to-be. The chapter next in this 2011 seems (insert adjective) and yea i am still figuring my way amidst fyp and dance. I will want and make things happen for myself in the upcoming unknown territories.

dramaM0M0; |1:10 PM|

有时感情泛滥时，会一发不可收拾。
有时心灵空虚时，又偏偏去回忆一些已消逝的东西，以为能滋润自己，往往却自讨没趣。
记忆中的都是片刻的／零碎的／选择性的。常常的，我们在追朔某一件事时，都为故事增添了一些以为是当时的感觉，或是对一些模糊的过去，赋予一些未曾发生的情节。我们不会擦觉到那些可能是我们在事后的体会或是希望得到的感觉，因为某部分的自己是希望现实如想象般，而忘了人是善忘的。
对于曾牢牢＇记住＇的，我们都不嫌烦的一再而再的叙述，为了那么丁点的回味。直到得放下，就不是滋味，叹惜美好的不能有所继续。我们又忘了人是善忘的。当时间冲淡时间，消逝的不再重要，因为唯有放下，才能再度握紧今天的记忆。

***
对于你:我知道不能再握紧什么，你／我们的回忆也逐渐褪色。只是也很清楚，在某个角落还是有你的位置，但不属于现在这个变了的你。
对于另一个你:60天，不长也不短。说真的，是被disenchanted,very.
对于这样的一个你:或许一周内认识的我，并不如你想像中的完美。
对于地球另一端的你:非常庆幸，友谊会使我们走得更远。

dramaM0M0; |12:27 AM|

i think i need to talk.
but there isn't a great time, energy and avenue for me to say.
*

on a lighter note, i really enjoyed dance practice yesterday. It's really a good distress place because i think about nothing else but my footwork, my frame and posture.

dramaM0M0; |3:38 PM|

i realised certain things abt myself
-i like to ask qn on personal development.
-i like to ask how people view their own actions and listen to those processes that they went through
-i like to talk to people who are into field of humanities

questions in my mind
-where do i see myself in the near future? Does whatever i said still stand and is something that i really can pursue?
- life as a special ticket to live, to try different things, to experiences all sorts of ups & downs. So, how am i gonna value and make this ticket a worthwhile one?
-do i have what it takes to want to chase/have the qualities to succeed in life?
-what furniture do i want in my future house?

Umm....

dramaM0M0; |11:38 AM|

HAPPY BUNNY YEAR TO ALL!

had some fun during this cny aka watching BURLESQUE (christina aguilera and CAM GIGANDET are frigging hot!) with lea

and having a fun monopoly deal + bun luck session at laylay's place. Had some good food during the break as well as catching up with my elder cousin. We talked about marriage and yeah well the topic never ends eh? He was puzzled that i wanna get married by 26 but i told him as i age, i know this thing is just an ideal thingy and unrealistic because i am still single. oh wells. no hurries yea.

so simple resolutions i figured:

1. do something nice for vday
2. meet ntu-ers while i haven't graduate
3. get fitter with more work outs and better diet!
4. fyp + do my best for my mods
5. dance my very best for dance concert this year

nothing beats simple things like gaining knowledge and fitness for yourself. And like what lea said, we don't have to be happy everyday because we gain wisdom through sadness and learn to appreciate happiness from it too. True ya, tho the process might be lonely but the path to better myself is a good preparation to meeting new challenges and new people.

dear friends, jiayou for your doings too! :D

dramaM0M0; |11:38 PM|