曾几何时，我说：“baby, whenever i am busy, just lend me your shoulder yea.” P说：“no matter you are busy or need a shoulder, i will stand by near, loves.”
对于种种的曾几何时，我想了很多。 我正在策划一场大逃亡，有谁要跟来？
dramaM0M0; |12:59 AM|
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
what can you do if you'v no grounds to express your misses? you can keep that person in prayers, that's what i did these few days. it just dawned on me somehow, that sucha way can channel some of the love in some way.
i came across this person who captured images of life and post it to someone to express his feelings.
"Scenes of encounters shot by the artist, sometimes accompanied with notes, served as a way for him to share moments which he could not bring to his loved one. As interplays of real and simulated sites conjure up familiar cinematic states, this project begins as his response to the speed of contemporary society; a mediation of his need for nostalgic emotional experiences." -http://www.seed.sg/repository/tsiwtswy/
I felt touched that someone shared the same sentiment as me, just as what i am planning to do in the near future. Although reminiscing the past is a sign that i have yet to let go, but perhaps slowly, i can move on because it happened. Sometimes i still feel helpless or refuse to move on, because i still heart you many.
well, many thoughts' been through my mind to make my life better. It's hard and sometimes i am drowned in what's of us. And when all become so inadequate, i feel like having a big escape, i guess the trip in June will be the start because 你离开我，就是旅行的意义。
dramaM0M0; |9:57 PM|
Sunday, April 25, 2010
monitor: core report at stake. how to churn out another 5 k or words in 1 day?
mind: core paper tml morning. i dun wanna do badly. got more to mug. i so wanna go ellie's hall to stay over tonight but i fear i cant finish my report. sucks.
heart: here i am, once again, lose to you. i miss you badly.
dramaM0M0; |1:48 PM|
Friday, April 23, 2010
how 5 mths ago was the sweetest day on earth, today was an exam day and a drained mind. wanna lose weight? just get a heartbreak. i was 47kg in feb. just then, i went to weigh myself. it said 44kg. i didn't go on a diet. Fats slipped away, just like how my love did.
dramaM0M0; |5:28 PM|
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
this was what i drew 3 years ago when i was feeling upset during post-As period. i imagined if i had a bf/someone who can do simple things for me to cheer me up. and now, i have to do it by myself. i looked forward to 20102010 cos we were tgt on 20102007. now?
wells. i will be okie. everything has an ending, love and heartbreaks included.
dramaM0M0; |11:41 PM|
矛盾
一句讲完：心没了 一句讲完：别等了 一句讲完：别傻了 一句讲完：心疼了 一句讲完：我还爱你呢
*** 说实在的，我他妈的讨厌现在。囧 *** i wanna genocide myself soon. term report undone, with 8k of words bothering me.rwanda genocide, i shall conquer youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. *** 生日快乐desiree
dramaM0M0; |8:34 AM|
Monday, April 19, 2010
seeing your lil vid taken in Jap doing the visa commercial jump made me think of the one we did at vivo city. we agreed to go different places to take it before your exchange. how time flies, it was in Jul back then.
i am still stuck in our memories. yea, this is just part of the healing process right? but i realised it's not just about the things we had, the most difficult part to let go is simply who you are. it's the person you heart the most, it's really about the person but not whatever he did or did not. while i tried to smile for the good times, i can't help to feel the tinge of pain that etches somewhere inside. i still wake up in the middle of the night, with my heart racing because you didn't return.
一再而再的感动，自己给自己的余温。 ***
time to set off for school. mug and mug.
dramaM0M0; |9:30 AM|
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Remember when you used to hold me, remember when you made me cry You said you loved me, oh, you did, yes you do
I love you,say we're together baby,say we're together,oh I need you,I need you forever baby, you and me
and i still remember how you sang the chinese version to me and how it warmed my heart back then.
i still give thanks to what was us. nothing in us can be replaced. everything has an ending, just never thought that it will end this way.
finally, i got my first flight ticket. two more to buy. somehow, i wish to go somewhere far, where no one knows me.
dramaM0M0; |11:21 PM|
Thursday, April 15, 2010
went to catch xiaoyi's liaozhairocks ytd. it was great! there was a live band playing through out and the actors sang live! rocks! :) Took cab home with xiaoyi and his fellow actress friend. He gave me a hug before he left, i don't know but that kinda warmed my cold heart.
today was kinda well spent. Went to ica to extend my passport's validity and then was mugging with course mates. Only got home around 10+. Gonna edit my report before i sleep.
and this was the song LIAOZHAIROCKS used for their show. Tanya's 双栖动物。 看了前面，突然觉得自己对自己好残忍。
dramaM0M0; |11:45 PM|
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
and who doesn't recover? it's just a matter of time. i wish i had been better.
Sunday nite was productive with jap revision. Hope i score for listening and oral later on. 2 more reports to do and revision shall kick in later, exams' in a week's time. i still don't feel it but i know i fear it.
thanks people for the concern for my fall. My knee still ooze stuff out from time to time but i should get better i supposed. just gotta be careful while i walk. Come to think of it, no one helped me up. It was in the rain so i got up myself to get to the nearest shelter and all i cared was the packet of food i bought.
every now and then, i still wake in horror. weak heart. and i feel that i'm becoming more like you. when i feel a lot, i get overwhelmed. when i feel nothing, i get overwhelmed as well. how a person lifts u up and tears u down is sucha chore to handle.
你最近还好吗？
dramaM0M0; |12:47 AM|
Saturday, April 10, 2010
all i could do was to rush to the nearest handicapped toilet to release a little. then, i got hearticapped.
today, i slipped and fell in the rain. I didn't realize my knees bleed until i crossed the road. For that moment, i hope i could have fallen harder, so that i won't know what's pain anymore.
and now, one of the injury is still oozing out plasma. my poor scar-less legs.
i never thought that i need you so badly, never thought that i could have been so weak w/o you. Why sucha big test for me to handle on top of academics? i am really tired. i don't have courage to face myself. someone kill me please.
dramaM0M0; |8:25 PM|
Thursday, April 08, 2010
things to do now/aft exams:
go running ( in fact i started on tues, ran 4km! six packs six packs six packs!)
go for theater practice (pending)
girls dates
fly alone for exchange
things that i should feel great about myself:
i loved and was loved.
i am still being loved by friends like you you you. thx
i know how to cook. aint gonna cook for another man unless he hearts me deep deep.
i know how to salsa.
i used to have big ambitions, gonna find that zest in me soon.
i am doing political science for FYP. so intellectual right?
i have a hero in me just that she's hiding one corner.
i have a diamond that is gonna shine.
i still have 4-6 more years before i dang dang dang dang with someone.
i think i am oh so adorable to type these out.
----------------- bring me away and hug me tight. i need some inspirations not just some negotiations.
dramaM0M0; |7:50 PM|
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
S: welcome to post break up service! How can i assist you? me: yup, ermm can i get a player? S: sure, are you player? me: why? S: because you ought not to put in any real feelings, otherwise you will lose your soul again. me: sure, i got that. i am broken enough to feel anything. S: alright. up size? me: nope. S: any msg to go along before i get you a player? me: love me somehow. S: that will be a total of 1020 happiness. This is your receipt, kindly pay us after the service. As for now, a deposit of your heart is required. me: sure.
dramaM0M0; |11:01 PM|
once again, i woke earlier than my scheduled time. i woke in shock again, with my heart beating faster than normal. i woke to get slapped again, by the fact that it's over. it's really tormenting to wake abruptly,with my eyes straining wide open. i feel helpless about this thingy every single day. wth have i done to deserve all these seriously?
dramaM0M0; |7:22 AM|
Sunday, April 04, 2010
＜秋天的哀愁＞- 夏宇
完全不爱了的那人坐在对面看我 像空的宝特瓶不易回收消灭困难
---------------
last nite at gary's function, zouk's music was blasting loud, i danced hard, but even so, my mind was all about you. it's not like you are gonna care again, it's not like things can go back the way we used to be. the music was so loud that no one heard me shouting :"i was sad". dumbass. i really really really need to be :) again. it's awful these days. i need to find a new seat in life. i shall only lost that little part of me and go on with a bigger me. but then again, it keeps breaking everyday, lousy shit.
dramaM0M0; |10:39 AM|
Friday, April 02, 2010
逝
下雨的空气
还在身边徘徊
每次为你多留的一份勇气
剩给自己却还是不够
澎湃着的回忆
是捡不完的无辜
记忆的刺青
留在我的每一寸肌肤里
我试着相信
初恋的本质是遗憾
唯有遍体鳞伤后
才能真的重生
dramaM0M0; |3:03 PM|
Thursday, April 01, 2010
everyday, there's always one moment when i cannot keep my cool. and floodgates open because of the doubts and crashed hopes. i did and am trying to be positive about things that are coming my way.
just that in the midst of the hectic reports and exams coming up,the special one isn't there for me anymore. why am i fucking weak when i thought i needed no one all the while?
and yes, you won't hurt me anymore.
dramaM0M0; |6:15 PM|
yea that's me
l a i y a n
twen-teen-2
wish for a better <3
grace from santa
peace
joy
love
kick da devil
fish
sickos
tears
quotes
if you can't handle my worst
you don't deserve my best.
this was what i drew 3 years ago when i was feeling upset during post-As period.