having strings attached in the past somehow made her a person who's sometimes uptight with things. the front she has to put throughout either makes her stronger or weaker, the latter one often comes at critical moment, making her feel more fragile. she wonders if anyone can do anyting about it or even care about it. whatever it is, she needs to be on her own.

dramaM0M0; |11:59 PM|

she's bloody sai-ed now and feelings are all over the place. thinking about things that prolly wont matter to the majority and emo-ing at home like some shit. lonliness can't be quantified.
the silence is so loud.

a new day ahead.
get up u bloody fool.

dramaM0M0; |1:01 AM|

i just got back from FOOD HUNT organised by NUS arts club people.
Quite a large scaled event and i thought it was fun to do it with my long-time-no-see-and-i-so-miss-them og people. LOVE eir nonsense like when we were eating duck rice and thinking that we'll start running after that station, my snr said " wahhh..now i eat one duck meat, later i vomit a whole duck out" it was darn hilarious when u start to think about the real thingy. hahah.
and it was my first run after like a year? lolx. shiok ah.

anw, ytd was kinda well spent.
went over to nus to mit mr bf for lunch, yeah another monthsary that we met up.
then was meeting the co weng for his bdae thingy, had a nice catch up and mini cake session with him! and he sent me to sch via VROOM VROOM! woots! then was salsa and had bdae session for sab and shaf as well..and then was back home doing thingys and started editing PICTURES and i am oh-so-proud-of-myself can! i think i shud go take arts design and media. heeeee *self-high*

but then back to reality is:
mom just gave a whole list of chores to settle.
i just dun really like to listen to lotsa thingys esp after a long day, aye aye, i am stuck lah.

whatever it is, i'll jiayou.
tough weeks ahead again and i need a proper date somehow.

bring me away lah.

dramaM0M0; |9:52 PM|

lessons ended say an hr ago and i'm here in the lib doing researching, reading mails, FB-ing and later gonna hide at one corner to get a nap.

Feel pretty tired these few days, i didn't manage to study much at home after i resume to cooking dinner. heh. I even skipped half of my lecture or dozed off during tutorial on the mon core lecture as well as todae's lessons. die. how can? two term reports and a CA to do early apr. die.

3 more weeks to exams and our dance, tho ended nice last sun..will resume prolly next week cos we got into finals for a competition on the 4th apr. ROCKS socks! and my encouraging partner will be away, so mabbie i will get a new parter..haix, i kinda miss his assurance to me and his always gentleman-thoughts. BOO!

and suddenly, it dawned on me that i'm having multi-networks..aka my usual sec sch people, my jc, my uni, my OG(tho i am like MIA alwaes), my salsa people, my camp exco, my pageant com people, my hip hop people. BLEAHS. sometimes i dun get it why people can click and majiam like superb close frens when actually they aint. and so..i think i want to priortise some links..in a sense..do wadeva i can and then ya..no nid to be too close, cos eventually, we'll part in a way or another..haha.

well well.
yawns. time to hunt for a place to nap.

dramaM0M0; |4:26 PM|

sometimes things just happened so fast that you couldnt have enough time for yourself to rationalise stuff. I tried hard to rush things to be presentable and catch up with trainings. The work done though was appreciated but somehow not good enough for show and hence the suppressed tiredness in both mentally and physically got so built up, they all burst out in the form of tears.

I know i shouldn't have cried and cause a pause in the training but it was really so tired and i was superb engulfed by the ugly truth of how people work and myself doing so much to make things happen. And so, i rushed to the ladies, my friends rushed to me, they rushed to explain things and i rushed myself to halt my tears.
"c'mon, let's get back to training, i'm fine..else we'll waste time" that's what i said cos i know i have to rush myself to be calm and get back to training mode.

The 2nd cry came when my instructor came to me, i knew his intention was good but i couldn't help to tear again when he started talking and so i moved aside and once again told myself to stop all these nonsense. My team mates came to me one after another but that just made me feel trapped even more, cos somehow, it's no one fault and so i rushed my emotions to be steady again. Training continued till 2315.

we rushed to take the last train home but because it was superb late after getting home, i didnt have the time to calm myself down. Even the recounting of incident to perry was a rushed one, with a monotone. I hope i could have let out a good cry to ease my heart but well, sometimes u just have to put a stop to whatever negative feelings you have, at critical time.

I'm now rushing to type this entry, to make a closure to what happened ytd cos i know it's 2 days to performance and i need to get back on track. There's training today and tml, we'r gonna rock the nbl down on sunday. Stay with me.

dramaM0M0; |11:31 AM|

oh me gut!!!
it's coming it's coming..
6 days of dance ahead and i dunno how will i feel when it's over.
glad or wad? lolx.

everyone's under some kinda stress i guess but i hope we'll pull thru this tgt! :)
jiayouuu

dramaM0M0; |4:24 PM|

HELLO EVERYBUDDY :)

pfft.
i just had a mid-term today and more mid terms/reports to come for the later weeks of the mth.
but first of all, i'll be dancing and dancing like MAD till my dance concert on 15th march.Many thanks to those who'v bought the tickets!

Felt kinda lousy during the practices these days, especially when i know i'v doing things wrongly for the past 2 mths?! how CAN!? okie. i'm not alone and so we will pull thru these two weeks and put up a good show on THE DAY-my first very official BIG performance!!!!!
*a round of applause* :PPP

Sorry to friends who'r having bdaes these days, sorry that i mite not be able to turn up during the weekdays, i'm a part time student/dancer/hsewife. so u see where my time goes to yea? But still, hope u guys enjoy ur 21st!!!! :)))

last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEANNIE TOH!! :)))

dramaM0M0; |11:51 PM|