dramaM0M0; |5:46 PM|

这是与同学的感觉：

最后的一别是简短的加油和再见
触动的是那右手轻挽背与腰之间
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这是文斌同学写的：

三更半夜蹲在马桶上
唯一能玩耍积压的就是那卷厕纸
（在他还没打出剩余的故事，我就打出下列的字句）
我慢慢的拉
把厕纸围在颈项，然后是围至我的下巴，鼻子。
只剩下眼睛来闻自己的便便。
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我也不知道我要表达什么。
其实不是什么都要有为什么。

dramaM0M0; |12:31 AM|

昨天的一点快乐是

• 做完功课，叫来得及
• 空挡练舞，叫还不急
• 上war & memory module,叫不能急
• 晓义同我，叫来不及

今天，又要从心出发了。

dramaM0M0; |12:01 AM|

i feel so tired.
got home from dance around 12am.
sent yingsiew to exchange in the morning and was pretty tired from the burning of mid-nite oil to do her lil gift. old le.

pfft.
i have 2 assignments, 2 tutorials and a mini quiz to prepare for next week.
I haven't done any.
I told mom that i need one weekend-day to do my work, that's the max to ask for.
And i worry for stall, i know she didn't want to affect my studies too but because the stall's really short-handed, i really felt torn.

I know there's this inner voice, wanting to curse and swear why my dad didn't get a helper before the stall started all over again. It's because the work during weekends really take up a lot of my time and energy. It really makes me feel darn cranky when i am too tired to do well for my studies, it makes me become a grumpy person when my bf isn't aware of my well-being because i don't even have the time to tell him how i feel.

and i hate it when i get cranky and emo.
i will get more emo.
quite sucky. and the fact that i have to push myself further, to stand on my own is really tiring. sometimes, i just felt like crying in school when i thought of my unread readings, when i thought of my dance, when i thought of my lack of social life, when i thought of my pimples popping out.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

my only rant.

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today's our 28th monthsary, i wonder if we will meet.

dramaM0M0; |12:40 AM|

当感叹声走音时，不知不觉中，泪在飙。

dramaM0M0; |1:29 AM|

Mom bought me a new wardrobe and a set of drawers to put my clothings and my own necessities. While cleaning my room, she kept commenting that i have a lot things, she mentioned it at least for 20 times.

I looked at my room and reckon the stack of birthday gifts are the most prominent "a lot of things" that she said. Then i realised it's because i haven't get sufficient time at home to rest, to think and to arrange my items. The only time i did was the day after exams last semester, where i cleared my cupboard and tidy my desktop area. Then, my days were filled with work, helping out at stall and dance.

I was quite pissed and cranky when she kept asking me to throw away whatever that is not needed and complaining how i never mend my things properly. Then it led me thinking if they understand me or to give me some benefit of doubt that i am really busy.

I was supposed to submit a homework on Monday night but ended up doing it only at 6am Tuesday morning. The feeling was horrible, i could almost sleep anywhere in school during breaks. And the fact that i was ill prepared for my afternoon lecture and tutorial made me feel so inadequate about my performance since school started.

Seriously, i really feel the tiredness of no-weekends. I feel the loneliness and weary of the need to push myself further through this hopefully-temporary-hectic lifestyle. In general, it's the work during weekends that burn me out. I need weekends to handle two core essays every week and readings for monday tutorials. I need weekends to meet people and date.

Speaking of dating, i haven't date perry for quite somehow. crap that he isn't initiating any too. We used to communicate almost everyday during his exchange but since his return, he hardly calls/msn. I need some spark in the r/n even stronger than before because of my weariness. Well, i am handling this week better than last week already, sometimes ur counterpart just don't seem to function la hur.

And while i am writing this piece rationally, the tension in me doesn't lessen. No time no energy.
aye. cny? valentine's day? aye aye, i have another thing in mind and that's my dear fren going for exchange...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINGFANG :)))



love me more.

dramaM0M0; |12:26 AM|

when was the last time we catch a movie?
when was the last time we really date?
when was the last time you listen to me?

when will it be the last time u disappear just when i get online?
when will it be the last time u give short replies when i needed more concern?
when will it be the last time u kept saying you are there but u just ain't not?
when will it be the last time for me to think about you before myself?
when will it be the last time i am feeling this fucking way?

dramaM0M0; |12:51 AM|

上周作文题材是爱情。
暗恋；告白；热恋；分手。
老师任我们写其中一个的感觉。同一个爱情，不同的诠释。
我选择占据我青春期大部分时候的暗恋来下笔，想用味觉来表达所以想起自己喜爱的提拉米苏。其实暗恋的感觉距离我也有大概4年了，所以多谢盈秀的哥哥提供“感觉”。*嘻嘻*
首篇是我的，再来的是经由老师修改过的：

提拉米苏的滋味

第一次吃了提拉米苏后，我更是确定了自己对你的感觉。味蕾所尝到的层层滋味，就像是喜欢你的不同体验。

铺盖在醇厚的乳酪上，是一层薄薄的可可粉。一入口，干爽的粉末让我精神百倍。那就像是每次看到你，心跳都会加速，人也突然变得活力充沛。你的鼓励，胜过别人的千言万语，你的建议，使我定心得毫无忧虑。

乳酪融入嘴里，甜在心里。让我想起你对我每个不经意的眼神或笑容，都能让我感到窝心。口里充满的稠香，是那么的饱满，是每次回味和你共处的那一点点的幸福感。简单的满足，是像我在课本上写满你名字后的一份莫名成就感，填补我对你的思念。

有时心花怒放，但有时也参杂着一点的无奈与寂寞。常偷偷的看你，却害怕被你发现，有时默默地扶你一把，却不肯承认是那好心人。提拉米苏里那层浸泡过了咖啡和酒的海绵蛋糕，包含的苦涩和甘醇正是我的另一个心境。面对你，我不能随心所欲，害怕破坏彼此的关系，然而付出却没有回报。不知道是否蛋糕里的甜酒作祟，醉的让我惊觉自己的痴心有点愚昧。

最后，口里咀嚼的是低层浸泡过甜酒的饼干。味道比前面的淡，舌尖怀念着可可粉、乳酪、咖啡和酒的余香。纵然百感交集、错综复杂，但我还是甘愿的沉浸在提拉米苏的滋味。

------------------

提拉米苏的滋味

第一次吃提拉米苏，我更是确定了对你的感觉。

铺盖在醇厚的乳酪上，是一层薄薄的可可粉。一入口，干爽的粉末让我精神百倍。那就像是每次看到你，心跳都会加速，人也突然变得活力充沛。你的鼓励，胜过别人的千言万语，你的建议，使我定心得无忧无虑。

乳酪融入嘴里，甜在心里，让我想起你飘忽的眼神。嘴里充满的稠香，是那么的饱满，是每次和你在一起的幸福口感。简单的满足，是我在课本上写满你的名字，窝心的填补我对你的思念。

有时心花怒放，但有时也参杂寂寞无奈。常偷偷的看你，却害怕被你发现。提拉米苏那层浸泡过咖啡和甜酒的海绵蛋糕，深藏的苦涩和甘醇正是我的另一个心境。面对你，我不能随心所欲，害怕破坏彼此的关系。不知道是否酒精作祟，让我惊觉自己的痴心有点愚昧，有点醉。

最后，口里咀嚼的是底层酥脆的饼干。味道比较淡，舌尖怀念着之前的浓香。纵然味蕾百感交集，心思错综复杂，提拉米苏吃完了，我还是甘愿沉浸在喜欢你的不同滋味。

评语：
（咀嚼爱情像是吃提拉米苏的感觉。食物与思念同在，味蕾通往人心，爱情虽然五味杂成，但总是独沽一味。构思有创意，句式文字仍稍欠层次变化。--略微修饰了词句。）

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有时觉得自己的感情还太泛滥了。这是以相对的情况来讲。

dramaM0M0; |1:24 PM|

感觉就好像是累积的痰，弄得喉咙不时发痒。
没空看医生，医生也没空看我。
终于有那么一点时间，但医生只听我说几时开始咳嗽或是吃了什么。
奇怪的是，他甚少用听筒来听听是不是肺部出问题，而且药也没给。
只叫我别去想咳嗽就不会咳了。

我只好在家服用枇杷膏但是好像没什么见效，板着个脸去见医生，但医生却费解我为何这么的困扰。好像是认为我小题大做，弄得我有过意不去。

来匆匆，去匆匆，我跟医生说除了喉咙不适，晚上好像听到气喘声。
医生又叫我别想太多。
我心中莫名有股委屈，只好压制一下，尝试不去想。
但的痰真的弄得我很不适，咳又咳不出，医生又好像没法子救我。

其实，我要的很简单啊，不过一瓶止咳化痰的药水，为什么就那么难得呢？

dramaM0M0; |12:06 AM|