suddenly, there's no need for a reason to tear.
suddenly, there's no need for a reason to know.
suddenly, there's no need for a reason to write this.

dramaM0M0; |2:18 AM|

hola! :)
lesson ended and i am in chinese library typing this piece.
Was chatting with ellie 2 days ago online and she asked me about my birthday. I told her that i'll be holding a party on the 23rd and it'll be a test of friendship (because the WHOLE WORLD IS HAVING EXAMS!!!). So she asked for the theme and i mentioned: Exams and that people coming can wear anything, chui-ness is allowed. See how nice i am? And then i told her that she's still the same blur girl who believed that i am really going to host a party. I'v a paper on the 24th plus i no have $$, so i conclude that i won't hope a big big party. I think it's because the WHOLE WORLD emphasize on the "21st" so much, it gives us a desire/reason to hold a party and hence it'll make u go "awwwwwww? 21st leh" when you/your fren isn't having any. Well, the thought of party did come across my mind because the fact that people thinks it's "essential" to have one makes me feel weird if i am to have it next year or next next year.

And then i thought about presents. Somehow, i want the following as gifts but not entirely because bdae is coming but somehow, i just want them to be in my life but i have no $$ to buy.

1. Dance heels - My existing pair have been so worn out that i can see the metel part on the heels. it'll prolly cost $50-60.
2. gel eyeliner - not that i wear make up often but just thought it'll come handy during dance performance or to attend functions.
3. new tops- my tees are worn out as well, that's why i break away from my usual tee+shorts this semester.
4. some inspiration/touch me deep deep book- i just tot i need some vitamins for the heart.

this is not a hint for friends to buy me the mentioned items, in fact i rather people spending the least yet able to do a nice card/item for me. so the challenge is to: spend <$10 for my gift! wahahahaha. aye aye, and don't ask me where'll i be on the 23rd, i'll prolly hide somewhere to cry, haha no la, i'll be spending it with my books/notes! :)

okie. i shall end this entry by telling you guys what am i going to do next:
-print my lecture notes for friday
-find my book to do report
-go for dance practice.

to my friends who are on exchange: have fun and dun miss here too much! since u are there, then might as well be there! :)))))))))))))))

dramaM0M0; |5:46 PM|

人家只是个女孩，希望被哄，被疼。很难咩。
当零期待得到负一时，还真的挺ouch的。
啊，所幸的是，昨日过去了。

dramaM0M0; |1:20 AM|

Date: 20th Oct 2009
Event:“跨国盛事”
Theme:我们两岁啦!
Venue: 香港、新加坡
Participants: 贝贝 & 佩佩
laiyan,perry and 12345678910 others like this. *thumbs up image*

;3

dramaM0M0; |1:01 AM|

why is there a sudden rush of emptiness and restless-ness in her?
somehow, this often happens after some great influx of ideas.
the heart wishes for some peace.

-
back to books before new readings come haunting me.

dramaM0M0; |1:05 PM|

I am thankful for the sharing session over msn just now. Now that at least we know the rationale behind the intention, tho it's still kind of an induced-motivation rather than the team's very own will to make it happen, i thought it's an opportunity for us to reflect upon ourselves.

As much as i don't want to do the event blindly, the possibility for me to grow in dance skills through the event is minimal. It made me question my mindset in all the things/projects that i handled in university. However, the sharing just now did shed some lights in the hope to dance better. Perhaps i just feel inferior about my skills, i never thought of joining the competition. At this point in time, i recalled my question for myself in early March this year: Am i dancer or a performer/DO-er.

It;'s 2+ am now and i don't think i can write this entry with proper sense. shall end here.


to Sab: if u are reading, i hope u noe there's still me, lea, page etc to be tgt okie. hugs.
to myself: A time for me to find myself.

dramaM0M0; |2:44 AM|

The torturous week was over and my cough is getting better. Something ended off last week nicely was karmun's bdae and it was nice to meet my council people, misses were the old days when we worked together. Funny was when i saw karmun's dress and my gosh, our clothings had same color and pattern. rocks.

Though presentations are over, what bothers me now are my readings, i am 2 weeks behind my readings and that makes it 2 x 4= 8 readings to clear. The feeling sucks more when i know that it will be time consuming if i am to read beyond what's in the text, hence i could only do selective reading and pray for myself for the exams that are in 1 mth's time.

12oct was ahhuai's birthday and i was glad i finally got a present for her and met her in school. 13oct was a long day as i had salsa meeting for my goodness 3 hrs! At least, we made it productive, the year ahead is challenging, but we'll brave through it! SABBIE girl, pls jiayou. MR D's with youuuuuuuuuuu :DDDD

It's 1am now and new lessons are waiting for me to love them. I'll try to embrace them, stay with me.


i want to suntan, to shop, to swim, to have wings.

dramaM0M0; |12:54 AM|

Finally, i finished my 5k-words-essay last night and it was really tiring! I have another 2 reports due wed and thursday and i will conquer it!

Went to a wedding dinner on Saturday night aka mid-Autumn festival at chijmes and it was oh-so-nice! i like the place and it was nice to see my ex-neighbors whom we haven't met for >6years? The kids i used to play with have grown up, so am i to them.

The couple only came out twice before they went around to "yum seng" and the bride had two dresses for the night. There wasn't much entertainment or programmes except for the cake cutting and re-enactment of how the groom proposed. The event probed me thinking what others say about such dinner as a fashion show, but it didn't happen in this case. I do admit that the couple seldom had the time to have a proper meal but i thought the happiness in them was real and the event was just an approach they adopted to treat friends and families in celebration of their matrimony.

There wasn't element to be showy or to custom the event to be a performance and i thought it was a pleasant night. While getting married is a bond between a couple, the strings attached can be extensive, take the simplest example: to invite family members of the couple, even when you have the slightest idea of who he or she is.However, it's still a wonderful thing to happen in life and i really saw the smiles beyond the many faces. Funnily, as i walked down the aisle to my seat, i feel oh so shy! :3

While i still think that getting married and the process to settle the small things for it is beautiful,practical issues like what your closed ones view your counterpart matters to me. The previous sentence is a lousy connection from the previous paragraph but my main idea is to lead what i am going to say next.On the same night, my grandparents invited the bf over for dinner. It was a nice gesture and i really appreciated their effort. This time round, the bf went with his dyed hair, no black spray like last time. I told grandma about it before he went and she just laughed and say it's preferable to be black, so i thought it's fine. Just now, dad came in and said my uncle commented that how could an army officer dye such color and dad added:" you see how they condemn it?" i should think that he's speaking more for himself instead of my uncle. Aye aye, as long as grandpa doesn't have comment, i think it's fine.

Sometimes we just can't avoid what the adults think and even simple thing like dyed hair can be topic for sarcasm.

dramaM0M0; |10:02 PM|

I am back from my salsa camp and altho i slept quite a lot on the 2nd nite, i napped for freaking 3 hrs after getting home.

what's important now is to churn out 3 freaking essays. One requires about 1.2k of words, the others require 5k of words each. On top of that, i need to think of a research paper question to submit on Monday. I am quite clueless as to what to start first and i don't have the mood to deal with academic stuff.

I felt that there'r things that weren't done properly but there isn't time for remedy nor to have a proper closure. Plus i really want to watch "The ugly truth" but i didn't and hence it became a statistic onto the list of "uncompleted" items. I nearly went to watch alone after camp but the timing wasn't suitable. sucks.

On a random note, once again, i feel alone after doing many many things.
i shall pamper myself after this week, after the essays and mid-terms.

dramaM0M0; |1:03 PM|