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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

sometimes, i miss people so much.
sometimes, i don't miss them too much.

it's sometimes good that i can move on faster(than others) and then adapt in a new environment or to mingle with new groups of people. It's especially good in uni where u meet the passer-bys of your life-temporary tutorial mates, elective mates- and at the same time i move on with the new way of life without the ones whom i hung out the most.The mind doesn't remember them much but the heart does,like always.

it's sometimes bad that i can move on faster(than othes) and then adapt in a new environment or to indulge in a new life/routine. It's because i might unintentionally drift apart with the ones i cared/care or to be busying in my own activities and not appearing in the outings or whatsoever. The mind doesn't remember the missed-outings, but the heart does, like always.

sometimes when i am in new things/activities for quite some time, i feel as though i am living abroad, like i am doing things on my own and there's no worries cos i will one day be homed with my love ones. i feel as though i am an independent individual hence it doesn't matter if i eat alone or mug alone or join this or that alone. And then when i find that there's an awkward silence btw the familiar faces, i either try to talk, otherwise i choose to not appear so as to save the awkwardness and slowly there's no place for my voice.

when parents werent in town; i won't miss em like no tml cos i noe they'll be back.
when i am away for camp;i won't miss pp much cos i noe i'll be back and i'll be fine out there.
when mr bf was/is away;i did miss x123456789 for the 1st week but as i am packed with sch work and i noe that he'll be back..i start to place him in the heart more.
when brother comes home late;i won't miss him cos i noe he has got his own stuff and will be back.
BUT DEEP IN THE HEART, they do matter to me.

i am not quite sure what'v i really blogged but perhaps it's just a way to sort the thinkings into words,perhaps i jus feel a lil weird that i am missing mr bf less today.well, he's still the 1st & last on the mind and i always hope that he and beannie are fine in thai.sometimes randomly, i will hope that he will never get to go on any missionary trips,i don't want to be some ancient woman.

orite.so long. phew,no one, no time to share,hence i blog.

dramaM0M0; |4:03 PM|


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