asked him y.
den he looked very sad, nearing tears..
only know how to sigh..
so i asked agn, then he kinda said y..cos timing dun match..cos last min cancellation etc..
so i said it's okie, at least u tried..there can be other times..hols doenst end here..
but he's so sad.
and i hate that look, i dun like tt look, particularly on a guy's face.
i understand the disappointment..i noe how it feels like to actualli squeeze time for outing yet it just din turn out. wad more u are the organiser..but i told him it's not worthy to be so down just because of this..but he still won't listen..but contd to moan..and sae some discouraging stuff.
den i raised my voice a lil..
cos i tot tt shant be happening to a guy.. i mite be tough, but i tot that he shud be stronger..den i tot abt myself..din i also moan and whine abt such stuff last time? but i got over soon enuff, to distract myself from other things..but he doesnt..he jus sae that he will contd to sink and then sink...so i told him it's a decision whether or not to be okie now, get done with his remaining hw and then if got time, go ask frens over for card games or wadeva..but he seemed to ignore my words..and i feel kinda "angry"..cos i myself dunnoe how to console that part of him..guess he still nid a lil fun outta this..yea, he is still a boy.
so i think i'll be bringing him out to mit mr MANIA! haa..bring him to eat pasta ba..not becus of this incident but had tot of bringing him out for a meal since i get paid for tuition.yebble..and so hopefully bring him to toy store and cheer him up...BUT i still feel "angry" for his response to such matters..he's a guy!
and yea..i think i am harsh on him sometimes..wanting him to endure things that he chose to do..such as the long hrs of art lessons that he chose to attend..i will onli pop by to see see look look, hlp wheneva possible..but i'll owaes tell him to do things on his own..den sometimes i wonder if i am a lil tough on him? but i tot tat's the wae u shud cope and make it thru secondary sch..u knew u like art, and u chose it..and u noe it's time consuming..so u learn how to get thru it and be fine..
guess tat's how i got thru, so i made it this wae for him too..but sometimes i ought to think abt his personality that is far different from me..wad i'd gone thru mite not be the best route to mould him..but then..who's there to teach me how to guide him? sometimes i wonder if i nid to play the role of parents too,i tot of bringing him out to shop for new clothes or mabbie be some wise person who can help in his inner growth..but then...my parents din guide me much..so?
den i'll think if i'll do tat to my kids..will i make them to learn thru the tough wae? will i be wanting them to be superb independent? well, u will nurture ur kids the wae u'v been thru..it's owaes tt wae...yada yada, shall leave tis matter for my future hubby to deal with..
and so while i try to be nice to bro, i think i will contd to make him do things on his own n hlp accordingly...i guess tt's the wae ba..but a part of me realised that i actually loathe the sulking face/the lousy demoralisation feeling in others..and tt's y i felt damn yucky if i feel the same wae...then i'll push myself to get thru..to push myself to move on..
grr...side track
i feel so weird that i won be calling ali ,km or bean for sch stuff animore. damn.
and somehow, i feel like shutting myself agn. X.x
and somehow, i feel so sorry for my bro to have me as a sister who is alwaes tough on him..
and somehow, i jus dun change the wae i treat things and him..cos i wan him to be on his own.
dramaM0M0; |3:46 PM|