sorwie peeps, haven't been updating this space.
been busy with work and fell ill for the past 3 weeks.
Am now on recovery and gonna make my work life a wonderful journey ahead!

kinda lost focus sometime back and then got into a self-victimizing mode, thinking that because i am sick, so it's normal to be under performing. Slowly i reprimanded myself but didn't get my concentration back to do what's necessary. Then, my focus's blur again and the cycle repeated.

I have always been bad at handling my own disappointments and emotions. I too realise putting a strong front may be essential at times but the most important thing is how to fix the weaker me in there. I know i can do it and so i am gonna think differently and act differently to routines, so as to break through from my personal best.

I so love my industry, because it makes me realise my flaws and it teaches me about life: from handling rejections to maintaining attitude during low tides etc etc..
and even if i may have many failures now, i know that all these will become wonderful stories to tell when i succeed.

have you been doing the same things over and over again? make a change today, FOR YOURSELF :D

dramaM0M0; |3:18 PM|

i just realised this not long ago:

I AM WORKING 7 DAYS A WEEK.
mon-sat for my sales career and sunday at stall.
for this matter of fact, my response can be 2
1) 他妈的。
2) make the best out of everyday and take ample breaks whenever possible

and to make my life a better one where i embrace and conquer the difficulties i may face, my response can be 2 as well
1) give up my current job, find a 5-day work week job with basic pay
2) why not work hard tho tedious and enjoy later?

for both mcq, i choose the 2nd option and it's a everyday decision.
And so, my thinking now is to work hard and my rewards will come in later where i can earn enough for my parents to switch job and so MY SUNDAYS will be freee!!! *yeahhhh*

what are your personal and business goals? are you looking at them everyday and looking forward to achieve? Never settle with the average if you wanna progress, however when you stick your head into the clouds, stay grounded. :D

p.s I got promoted to corporate trainer on monday and now on i can start to manage new people :DDDD new skills await me to learn and i am eggcited about it :D

dramaM0M0; |8:38 PM|

Dear all who are still watching this space.

A round of applause to me for attaining my 2 sales yesterday and today 1 deal! I am starting to get the hang of things and able to break through my comfort zone better. I am much quick witted now and I am so glad that things progressed. It's really so heartwarming to see yourself earning your own credits and what more people in your company gives you recognition for your effort. Especially thanks to my mentor who asked me not to be stressed about results but more of the skills needed and am so grateful to boss who went down to field to work with me, challenged me to compete with him and that he came down to give support yesterday as well.

I really feel glad to see happy faces everyday at office and that everyone has their own story and sets of goal to pursue in this company. It's like regardless of where you come from, you get an equal chance to promote and learn more as long as you put in the effort. Each individual in my company has their good points that i can learn from and i do enjoy this whole learning experience and look forward to get promoted to trainer so that i will learn about recruitment and people development. It's not the title that i am looking at but the things that i'll get to learn that excites me. End of the day: what spurs you on into doing a routine? think about small things you get to achieve, be it a lesson, a skill, a break through is good enough to make you going FOR YOURSELF. :DDD

oh and i went to attend Bailamos to support my ntu salsa loves. Enjoyed the social dancing and meeting my salsaroes. so much love. and oh boss was kind to let me off half day! hahaha :D

oritey, i will work hard and get promoted by next week. update you guys again :D

dramaM0M0; |10:11 PM|

so it is my day fourth out in the field to do sales. It wasn't good today in terms of sales but i think i take back good lessons as to improve my next few days. Also, everyday is a learning day and i guess i shall applaud myself that i managed to self-motivate at the final hr of my job and went back field to pitch to 2 people!

it's really all in the mind.
sales can be easy & difficult. easy because it's just the standard things you introduce but of course the way to put it is another skill to acquire. I think i am still figuring this industry step by step, see what it can offer me and whether i can fit into it.Everyday a learning day, everyday a new day.

What makes me stay on despite nil sale is because

• the learning opportunities the company offers
• the happening and motivating colleagues and boss! (my boss came down tampines from office [at tanjong pagar] just to talk to me and bought drinks for us!) when i sold things, i received 4-5 smses from colleagues whom i nv spoke to before. when i don't do well, like today, i also received smses that encourage me a lot. they don't have to "suck up" to me right? i am a newbie and it's the seniors who sms-ed to spur me on, to make me feel better.
• i wanna be like some of them aka the branch managers who are just as young as me! I wanna get inspired from leaders who are willing to share. I met a young lady who is 4 years into the industry after she grad from mechanical engineering from nus today and she really is a role model. She has no air at all despite leading a team of about 20 men and willing to sit down meet us to share her uncertainties and goals when she first stepped into the industry.

hmm, at the end of the day, it's ur personal goals that push u further. at least, this is what i found out from my 4 days in my company. That's why self motivation is soo important, ask yourself why are you doing what you'r doing. There's nothing wrong with someone wanting a stable job with constant income, there's also nothing wrong with someone who wants a full-commissioned job but more of where you set your sight for the longer run.

sales is tough but i know i can make it and i'll make it better tomorrow.

dramaM0M0; |9:15 PM|

突然间，我觉得我的文凭很贵。
无论是文科，商科或是工程系，学费都一样，付出的时间也相同（除商科只需3年）。
然而，毕业后的门路不同，薪水也大大不同，至少在事业的起薪点有很大的差异。

修读文科的我们，大概只能期望2.3-2.4千，但是若是“进军”金融业／科学工程系等等的却能期待一份大约2.6千以上的工作。同时，文科的文凭没有何“专业性”，因此除了在翻译界／教育界／报信业比较吃香之外，在其余的大学毕业生当中，也只是泛泛之辈。

不过，起薪点不代表一切，因为我相信凡事只要力争上游，把握时机，放眼未来和锁定目标，那么一定能做出一番好事业。钱财不能完全代表一个人的成功，因为开心更重要。

啊。。
寻寻觅觅，凄凄惨惨悽悽。哈哈。
虽然在应征工作的途中感到心灰，为什么自己的文凭和在课外活动的“业绩”不够吸引人呢？不过，我意不冷，我要乐观面对，我的未来将会很精彩！

dramaM0M0; |10:05 PM|

i dun wanna do sales.
but i dun mind doing sales for the product i believe in.
i dun wanna do marketing.
but i dun mind doing marketing for the company that i like.
i dun wanna do admin.
but i dun mind doing admin for the necessary preparation that will aid in my career.

i wanna do events, for a good cause i.e wedding planner.
i wanna do events, for a personal networking i.e corporate/conferences
i wanna do events, for money i.e mkting and sales. (not)

i wanna deal with the tourism sector.
i wanna deal with the drama and media sector.
i wanna deal with ...

what do i envision myself?
it's fine that the end might not be what i envision right? Because if i do know, then there's nothing interesting anymore...i wanna break from my comfort zones because feeling at ease all the time doesn't bring in growth..

dramaM0M0; |11:57 PM|

i watched "City Hunter" starring Lee Min ho and Park Min Young on scv and decided to finish the show online since the tv only has the program twice a week. It was pretty well done and i must say the actors' emotions etc don't look raw nor under standard. They are only 24-25 years old and I would say if opportunities come by, their acting skills will go a greater height.

anw, this entry isn't supposed to be praising them. but i just wanna add some color to this blog.
and so I do have a different perspective of Lee Min Ho after his appearance from Boys over flower. Personally, i think he looks better in City Hunter and has definitely gain that charisma from the character that he was dealing with.

So I also thought of another two korean male actors whom i kinda fond of after watching "A moment to remember" (a movie in 2005) as well as "kim sum soon" (a korean drama) and they are: Jeong Woo Seong & Hyun Bin respectively.

Of course, pretty korean actresses caught my attention too.
Son Ye Jin from "A moment to remember",Ku Hye Sun from "Boys over flower" as well as Kim Tae Hee from "Love story in Harvard".

heh. feels a lil like those pri sch days when i would flip magazines and look at the rising celebs. oh wells.


Last but not least Kim Tae Hee, i really think she's sooo gorgeous! But that kinda restricts the type of character that she can deal with.

kk. back to job hunt.

dramaM0M0; |12:07 AM|

and so this entry begins with me telling you that i have rejected c&k last week. I didn't mind venturing into a brand new industry that i have never done before but not when it requires to tie me down for 2 years. I don't wish to be bind when i ain't sure if the job suits me in the long run, hence despite the good reputation the company has and the potential prospect i'll get, i decided to give it a miss.

It was a struggle.
It was a first job offer (other than a louya 1.6k job that some events company gave).
It was a good experience for interview skills.

and soooo it was back to job search last wednesday and yup the cycle repeats.

The big question is there since the day i had to decide if i wanna give c&k a shot and it is:
WHAT DO I WANT TO BE AT THE END OF THE DAY?
A retail manager or conference manager. I know the mind chose the latter so it just further confirm that it was a good decision to drop c&k.

However, wanting to be a conference/events manager is also something vague. Cos i am still unsure of the actual job scope but am asking around to get more information. (thankq friends who have helped me to keep a look out).The industry has a spectrum of activities and so do i wanna be part of those bigger projects where i deal with a small portion of it or do i wanna manage my own smaller scaled event like some company's dnd or meeting? The more you find, the more you realise things ain't that simple. On top of that, i often question my own abilities if i am cut for it. I have my weaknesses in events management as well so what are the qualities that will impress interviewers?

My parents hope that i can get a steady job aka regular hours and steady pay. My ambition to enter the events industry has its first hurdle: to gain my parents' support. Then again, i don't really need them to give me encouragements in it but rather, an understanding mind that this is what i see myself doing and willing to excel in it because of my past experiences. Who doesn't wanna do something that he/she can feel good about? right? So, while i still trying to squeeze my way into the industry, i have to "convince" them along the way. I understand their concern and so that also make me think of another question: Am i just narrowing my options to events? What about some govt job/other service sector that may satisfy my wants?

so MANY QUESTIONS!!! grrr.

shan't elaborate on that question but actually if you ask what has been really my keen interest in career. i would say it's the media industry aka front line drama/broadcast/performance.
I wanted it since young but never dare to continue to dream about really entering the industry because of my complexion, because of the knowing that it'll be a big NONO from my parents. tsk tsk tsk.

and now i am gonna look into websites after websites to source for interested positions from 1-2 industries. aye, what a way to end this entry.

lucks to all.

dramaM0M0; |11:48 AM|

tell u all what happened oso misunderstand.
nv tell u all you say i keep things to myself, you say i don't give a darn, you say i never work hard enough.
wtf have i done wrong that i am sucha daughter to you you tell me?

you tired, okie i understand then have u bloody understand the issues that were running through my mind the whole of last week because i had to make a decision for the next 2 years? And to think i updated you two everytime whenever the HR replied and then now i am in a dilemma cos i ain't sure if i shud still consider other positions and then u say i dun like this dun like that dunnoe what i wanna do. fuck u, like i wanna be indecisive? then since when did u care to listen to what i wanna do? you dun get it ? fine, i explain nicely in simpler terms of what i did but u just treated them like nonsense like it's not worthy right. if u are so capable then when didn't u get organised and get a helper for our stall so that ur kids can study/work in peace.why not take note of ur own temper. fuck.

and what's wrong with hanging out with my friends? what did i do or fucking bother ur life even if i am out till late. did i sleep around or what? did i go clubbing or what? did i? and what's wrong with meeting people during school holidays? THIS IS THE FUCKING ONLY TIME TO meet people what. and i will always try to prepare ur dinner before i leave or to marinate stuff so that it can ease the family's preparation for dinner. why shud i be rushing when other kids can take their time? excuse me? u ever care what i did? do i fucking care if our customers praise me or to say that i am hardworking? i dont want them? they are burdens to me!
you fucking just dun understand me at all.

don't blame people for not telling u things, it never had been pleasant to talk to you about serious things. becos this is the 2nd time i had to hold back my feelings and to reason to you the timeline of this job srch episode and cry in room.
darn it.

dramaM0M0; |11:41 PM|

so exams ending in late may.
i went for charles&keith's management trainee interview on mid june.
vietnam backpacking in late june.
got back early july and c&k 2nd interview on 18th july.
holy mama. i got the job offer.
if nothing goes wrong, i'm accepting and expects to start work on 1st aug.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS SO FAST!

i ain't giving up on where i visioned myself to be at, i'll make it happen.

aggh this is sucha short post to update whoever that is still reading.

dramaM0M0; |11:39 PM|

dramaM0M0; |11:37 PM|

I remember a friend telling me that she's getting lil selfish after her break up. I told her i understood and that I had my share too. I guess this realization of such feeling came clearer to me after i watched 'The Notebook', the male lead said to a lady who was there with him when he and his previous love broke up, he said: " you know i want to give you things you want, but i can't, it's all broken."

I guess it's the feeling that you just want all time and attention on yourself, your heart and soul and so you will tend to not want to bother with anything else. You don't wish to care too much for anything else other yourself, you don't even wanna be bothered. It's just too broken, too upset that nothing beats picking yourself up and just give others less love.

sometimes, i wonder were we a whole in the first place and being halved after entering a relationship so when it's over, we struggle to get back to when we were still single. It will be good if there's some mechanism that could enable us to forget things after a broken relationship, so that no one owes nothing and we'r back to who we were. oh wells.

dramaM0M0; |12:16 AM|

imagine this, you'd been dreaming about bag packing since a year ago but when it comes to the day that you thought you could have been overseas, you cannot.

and the issues are interconnected,firstly your friend couldn't make it and it's not his/her fault but having someone to "already" going with you made the trip 50% to realization because your parents will have to let you go.

2nd issue: money. With the initial idea to borrow money from the parents and repaying them when you get a job was the idea situation. But hey hang on girl, where does ur parents' money from from? From their long hours at a hawker center stall. So are you sure you wanna go holiday while they slog? i am pretty there's a part of you who will be screaming like crazy in your mind but family strings pull u darn tight.

3rd issue: time. what if your potential interviewer calls you up when you are about to travel? what are ur ideal dates? you planned to be away late june because you could help your parents during this school holidays and be back say early july for job/job hunt. but wait, reality gives u another issue to face. YOUR BROTHER.

4th issue: your dearest brother is retaking his O lvl english as well as juggling with his poly studies. He'll be having his first poly assessment tests in 5 weeks' time WHICH IS THAT VERY SAME DATE THAT YOU WANNA TRAVEL! and you can't travel 1-2 weeks before because he'll be revising, the air tix are expensive, neither can you travel after that because you really need to get a job say in jul onwards.

5th issue: and your ownself thinks "why is it so hard to just to have a getaway, to chill before i start my chapter next in life?" all these ain't anyone's fault because your bro didn't plan to flunk his paper, your friend didn't plan to be unavailable for your grad trip. And if traveling isn't planned now, when will i have have the luxury of time in the future? And while you try to calm down but sometimes couldn't help to think about traveling, these 5 things go in circle in ur head.

so how?
CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT IT ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN. YOU AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE!
and yes, the starting to convince yourself to discard your want is pretty hard, just think of better things to do in sg and find a job. Maybe, when you earn big bucks and then you can declare a holiday for yourself.
and this so-called-freedom is with strings attached.

can you imagine that situation? it's okie if you don't, there's a living example to experience it already.

dramaM0M0; |12:54 PM|

Exams ended on the 18th for serene, ellie and me. Laytin had her last paper on the 20th so we met for lunch in school and then tour around school compound.
Basically, we combed the src area, adm and north spine. We didn't go to south spine which we spent the most time at because it started drizzling. wells, we'll be back with our convo robe to take pics with my beloved hss building as well as the chinese heritage centre.

Let the pictures do the talking:
Actually we were quite an "irritant" because there were people waiting for exams yet we had our own fun. LOL. karma: perspired like mad!

and then we went to School of Arts, design and media and did jump shots again. Fortunately, there weren't any people around. I think my uniclique should enter the showbiz as comedians. LOL.
and then we walked up the slope that is right outside ADM, to the link bridges to the academic blocks aka engine block aka north spine. There we had some fun time tooo. Actually the school is rather pretty :DDD

thank you girls for making my uni life great. i will miss the LTs, the carpark benches, can B and the paths we often take together. no more "hello, where u?" "oh, outside..eh wait ah.. LT 25!"
Let's remember the days that bonded us, say YES! <3

dramaM0M0; |9:31 PM|

u think we don't know how much u have to work? U think we don't know how tired u can get everyday? U think we don't know u do want us to have a comfortable life?
And u bloody think we don't bother to think abt our future? And then blame that ur misunderstanding is becus we dont tell u things? hey take a step back, when is it that we had the time to talk? Okie fine, and when did u never ever come talk to us with a pre-mindset that made u say cruel words and then piss us as well.
Things go 2 ways, it's by time factor and the way u talk that make us not wanting to take the initiative to talk. And the thing is, even when we respond, u only select those u wanna hear and shoot us back with whatever bad image that u can think of.
Do i ever need ur acknowledgement for me working at stall? Do i ever need ur applause for every single performance i'v on stage or for any award that i got? Do i ever need ur comfort when i had my first break up? Hell no? And it's not becus u aint impt but becos i noe u didnt have the time so all i seek is ur understanding towards things i do? And u think i do events in uni for fun? Yes partially for fun as well as experiences! Becos i think abt my prospect, i think abt what i want. See the truth is i do think and care abt the well being of the family and u shud stop imposing ur mindset on ur words on the way u think of us.
Fair enuff, u might be too tired to think rationally, then dont get fed up when i try to reason nicely with u. I am not even saying that u are wrg becos i did understand ur point of view so all i did was to lay out the facts and let u noe how u cld post ur questions to us instead of scoldings. And yeah, why shud i be bothered to change a 51 yr old temper and u think i'm not respecting u. U think u slog for nothing, having 2 kids so immature. Den fuck oFf. Becos if u are to slap me, i'll walk away from this so called home.

dramaM0M0; |11:44 PM|

now that it's so said and done..
I wanna be a freshie lehh.
18th marked the end of my 8th examinations in uni and i am now a potential-graduate.
I ain't sure how shud i feel but i feel weird becos my final paper wasn't very well done yet it's pointless to think about it becus what's more important is whether the grades are okie for me to get my cert.And right now i'v difficulty resting becus i have no concrete plans as to what's next in life tho i will start spamming resumes and talking to people. i wanna get outta town but strings attached made me feel inadequate and my complains would prolly go no ending and so i'll shut up here unless necessary.
I suppose now = freedom. Freedom to?? To earn money!!! Grr. I dun wanna grow up.

dramaM0M0; |1:25 AM|